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Do Goals And Intentions Stress You Out?
  • Life

Goals and Intention

What are your goals?

What Goals?… Wait?… Huh?…. I am just gonna see what happens… whatever is meant to happen will happen. Goals stress me out!

There is so much out there about goals and why they are important and why you need them.  You need a mission, an intention a purpose.  Many believe without them you are just wandering through life aimlessly without any direction, lost, confused and hopeless. There is so much emphasis on goals, goals, goals especially at the beginning of the year it can almost make you want to run in the other direction.

I heard a statistic recently that 83% of people don’t make goals.  So most people ARE running in the other direction.  Where are they going and why are goals so repellant?  I imagine those conscious decision makers are likely running towards freedom, flexibility, spontaneity, a land without plans and type A personalities, the free-spirited, the creative, the No Plan Land.

No Plan Land… the goal is to have no plan

I like spending time in No Plan Land.  Once I get there, I feel like I can breathe again.  The space I need is there and a wild feeling that anything is possible.  But I also enjoy Plan Land too, mission statements written on the walls, to-do lists flapping in the wind, everything categorized, labeled and prioritized.  Calendars with red ink circling milestone dates.  Awe the beauty.

When goals and planning feel overwhelming and suffocating, I run back to No Plan Land.  Here is where I hang out in coffee shops sipping tea and watching the swirl of hustle and bustle with curiosity and excitement.  Inspiration descends and for the sake of making it a reality I run back to Plan Land and start making to-do lists and setting dates and making budgets.  When I can’t breathe anymore, I run back to No Plan Land and just lay in the grass and look up at the sky… ahhh….

What is the real goal?

How many of you feel this way?  You really want to seem “put together”, organized, goal oriented, ready to make your dreams come true, conquer the world!  More importantly, Lose weight, get that awesome job, start a new business, live in Europe for a year, travel the world….so many dreams.  Where is the middle land?  And who lives there?  Who can make all their dreams come true and still go with the flow.  And can use their intuition and feel okay with adjusting the original goal or strategy and still make their goals a reality?  Is there such a world?

I have read countless success stories and most of these successful people work so hard to achieve their goals.  They work to the point of neglecting many areas of their life, to the point of exhaustion and tiresome effort.  It feels like these people have a special power.  But later you find out that they have some regrets, in some ways they became obsessed and forced the outcome.  Achieving, but not achieving.

I look at some of these cases and think, I don’t want that.  What I want is to stay aware and conscious of what I am creating for myself and the people around me.  I don’t want to be completely consumed by my goals that I am no longer enjoying my life, or having fun, or learning something, or experiencing the flow.  So I guess I will toss those goals out the window… but should I?

Is goal setting really the problem?

If I believe everything exists to make us more conscious, is goal setting somehow an exception?  Maybe goals bring us awareness, to show us what might need changing in order for us to experience more love, joy, passion.

By identifying your intentional goal, which is usually not just about checking off your to-do list.  Hence it is about feeling confident, strong, beautiful.  The possibilities of your daily actions are limitless, full of freedom and creativity.
If you tell yourself the following?
I choose to walk for 40 mins today because afterwards I feel stronger, happier, joyful, confident.
How do you feel?

Of if you tell yourself this?
I have to walk for 40 mins to burn off that cheese cake I ate last night.
How does that feel?

Is your intentional goal to burn off what you eat?  If that is your goal, your motivation doesn’t have much support.  If your intentional goal is to feel confident, many areas of your life are affected.  How will feeling confident affect how you interact in the world?  With confidence, you ask for that raise, you make decisions, you ask out that cute guy or gal, you communicate with your spouse, you get that next client… everything changes.

So take a look at what you want to do this year, write it out, make a list… yes we are entering Plan Land.

You can use this format…
I want to  (area for improvement).  When I am successful with this goal, I will feel (try to describe your feelings in one word) and the people around me will (how will they be affected, motivated, inspired by you and your new energy and image?).
Read your goals out loud. Listen to the energy in your voice.  Make adjustments if you need to.

What one word summarizes your feelings?

Isn’t this one word your intention?  Because this is what you are striving for, even if you didn’t realize it.  Am I right?

Therefore, this year, I invite you to align 90% of your actions for this “Intentional Goal”.  You can be structured or spontaneous, free-spirited or disciplined, creative or simple.  You decide, it is your intention, it is your goal.

How have setting goals or not setting goals played a role in your life?